There are a couple additional things I want my kids to know, and despite the fact that they’ve been going around in my mind for some time, they apparently were nowhere to be found when I actually set out to write a list.
Compassion. Should be top of the list, of course. Obviously, this is one of those things that they hopefully pick up from conversations with mum an’ dad, and day-to-day knowledge-passing at the home. Bolstering it with good stories and maxims, such as those from the Book of Virtues or the Bible (hey, just coz it’s been way over-hyped don’t mean it doesn’t have some good stuff in it).
But it needs to be more than that. The reason there’s a problem today with so many people with so little compassion, is that the most exposure a lot of people get to real, genuine need, is bedtime stories and news coverage. People get into the practice of hearing about and watching compassion, and then stand around looking stupid when the time comes compassion is required of them.
Compassion is an action, so if I expect my kids to learn compassion, I should ensure that they have regular opportunities to put it into practice. Local soup kitchens, and programs to address homelessness (rather than just shelter its victims in their status quo), such as EHC LifeBuilders, are a good place to start.
Healthy Decision-Making. Not talking about avoiding fast food restaurants (clearly, I’m not the one to teach them that, except by negative example). Talking mainly about sexual health, and substance abuse. Mistakes in these areas can have extreme consequences; I’m not willing to leave this up to “parent-and-child” chats. The best way to make healthy choices is to be exposed to the consequences of unhealthy choices. In a short while, information (as opposed to rhetoric) and powerful movie-stories are probably a good start; but when they’re older, there’s no substitute for seeing for themselves. What it’s like to see a life utterly destroyed by narcotics. How having a child in your teenage years brings an abrupt limit to a formerly wide array of choices and opportunities, and what it’s really like to come to terms with an acquired venereal disease.
so, one thing I don’t understand: How will your children find it valid when you use bible stories that you think are good to teach them a trait like compassion, if at the same time you are pointing out how flawed the Bible is? Won’t it seem that you are just picking and choosing what you like from it and so they can just as easily disagree with you? oh and guess what? I’m going to be living in santa cruz for the summer! (that last note was just a side note… :))
Well, I don’t plan to rely on the Bible alone, or even particularly, to teach compassion. I’ll be teaching them the Bible so they know something about the Bible, and not really much of anything else.
Can I use stories like David refusing to harm Saul, despite Saul repeatedly trying to kill David, as an example of compassion? Sure. Can I use stories about God instructing Israel to wipe out entire peoples, leaving not even the children? Not so much
And the most popular “example” of compassion from the Bible, summarized by John 3:16 (and Romans 5:7-8, and …), is a strange one. I’m not sure how useful as an example of compassion, is a story about how a God, who “has no choice” but to punish us with excruciating, eternal torture, even just for thinking sinfully, concocts a plan to allow his Son to take the punishment instead of us, demonstrates compassion. Never mind how two days and some change of being “just dead” gets considered equivalent to torturing billions without any end, but as Thomas Paine (one of our nation’s founding fathers) put it:
Ignoring all that, though, yeah, it’s “yay for us”… but only if you accept the position that we actually deserved such disproportionate consequences in the first place. Somehow, I think I’m going to find it difficult to teach compassion from that story.
But I think you’re missing the point: the whole point of teaching them about the Bible is to not leave anything else, to not pick and choose (or explain away with unconvincing rhetoric), but to let the Bible speak for itself. Simply reading the Bible, straight through, taking it at what it actually says, is a fairly straightforward way to let them see for themselves what virtues, and what horrors, are contained therein. I’m not going to tell them what to like and what not to like about it; I’m just going to tell them what it says, and let them choose for themselves. I don’t have to “[point] out how flawed the Bible is”, I only need to expose them to it, and teach them reason.
As to them disagreeing with me, I rather think that’s the natural and desirable result of giving them the tools to think for themselves. If they disagree, fundamentally, with me, on something, but have approached it with reason, you won’t find a prouder papa.
*Ahem*. And now that I’ve offended everything you believe… 😉 yeah, I heard you were going to be at Mount Hermon, but I guess I didn’t put two and two together: you really have to come and see us while you’re in the area! Or we can come see you, or … anyway, we should see each other. Miss you sis!
Hi MIcah,
I must commend your idea of teaching your kids the Bible as part of their education. I have heard many nonbelieving parents say they want their kids to think for themselves only they don’t want them to waste their time with the Bible. My daughter gets a Bible lesson every day but I also teach her the basics of the other religions as well and even review what atheists think so she won’t get “University shock” later on.
As for Jesus being sacrificed by His Father, that is true in one sense but this God-man was turned over to the people and they crucified him. But instead of coming back and kicking everybody’s butt, he came back and forgave everyone and called them to follow him to heaven. It’s a beautiful story – the crucifixion is perhaps the worst thing that ever happened and the most wonderful thing that ever happened all at once. Jesus broke the power of death.
But don’t listen to me. If you just let the Bible speak for itself, as you said, that is more than I could ever do. You sound like a great Dad. Regards.